#257: It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay: Coping with Grief and Loss with Megan Devine

Effective Communication

Effective communication with someone who is grieving involves more than just offering platitudes. Megan Devine explains that while well-intentioned, phrases like "look on the bright side" can make the grieving person feel unheard and unsupported. Instead, she suggests asking questions like, "What would help? How can I support you?" to better understand their needs 1. This approach fosters authentic relationships where individuals feel seen and supported 2.

You need to put your need to be the savior, to be the best supporter ever, to the side and let the person who's in pain lead you.

--- Megan Devine

   

Pitfalls to Avoid

Common mistakes in supporting someone who is grieving include offering unsolicited advice and making assumptions about their needs. Megan Devine highlights the importance of timing and understanding the individual's current state before offering support. She recounts instances where people tried to comfort her with future possibilities, which felt dismissive of her immediate pain 3. Additionally, she criticizes the medicalization of grief, where emotions are often pathologized rather than acknowledged as natural responses to loss 4.

Our impulsive ways of helping are not inherently wrong. What is inherently wrong is making the assumption that we are correct and charging ahead with a prescription before you even understand what the person is wrestling with.

--- Megan Devine