#064: Is Sex Really the Problem? with Shadeen Francis

Sex Therapy

Shadeen Francis, a marriage and family therapist specializing in sex therapy, discusses the multifaceted nature of her work. She emphasizes that while many seek therapy to improve their sexual experiences, the core of her sessions often revolves around understanding and navigating emotions. Mark Groves notes that sexual challenges often magnify underlying emotional issues, highlighting the importance of feeling safe and secure in relationships.

People often come into the office to learn how to fuck. And mostly what we talk about is how to feel.

--- Shadeen Francis

Shadeen explains that unfamiliar or new experiences in our sexual journey can be both exhilarating and terrifying, offering opportunities for personal growth and expansion 1 2.

   

Therapy Benefits

Therapy offers numerous benefits, particularly in helping individuals and couples navigate their desires and boundaries. Shadeen discusses the importance of negotiation over compromise, advocating for clear communication about one's needs and desires. She believes that true negotiation involves understanding the core feelings behind our wants, rather than simply giving up something to meet in the middle.

The best and worst thing that could ever happen to you in this life is a feeling.

--- Shadeen Francis

Mark adds that approaching relationships with the mindset that "you winning is actually me winning too" fosters a healthier and more fulfilling partnership 3 4.

   

Sex Ed

Better sexual health education is crucial for addressing misconceptions and fostering healthier relationships. Shadeen criticizes the current state of sex education, calling it "trash," and emphasizes the need for relational context in teaching sex. She believes that early and simple messages about consent and intimacy can significantly impact our understanding of sexual health.

If you have knowledge, then you begin to have agency and power to make real change.

--- Shadeen Francis

Mark shares his disdain for the existing educational platforms, highlighting the importance of teaching intimacy and relationships from a young age 5 6.