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Published Mar 20, 2023

#269: How to Be a Better Partner with Jillian Turecki

Certified relationship coach Jillian Turecki delves into attachment styles, effective communication, and emotional behaviors in relationships, sharing personal growth insights and exploring gender differences to help you become a better partner.
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  • Attachment Styles

    explains that attachment styles, such as anxious and avoidant, are often misunderstood and oversimplified. She emphasizes that these dynamics are complex and involve both partners' behaviors and histories. agrees, noting that societal labels can create a false narrative of victims and villains in relationships 1. Jillian encourages people to look beyond these labels and understand the deeper issues at play in their relationships.

    Attachment styles and all these diagnoses are not meant to be diagnoses. They're meant to expand your understanding of relationship and who you are in a relationship, but it's part of the story. It's not the whole story.

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    Mark adds that understanding these dynamics requires compassion and a willingness to see one's own role in the relationship 2.

       

    Communication Strategies

    Effective communication is crucial in relationships, and stresses the importance of choosing the right partner who can meet your needs early on. She advises being assertive about your needs within the first few months of dating to avoid future complications 3. highlights the significance of learning from each other and building a strong foundation of mutual understanding.

    Who you choose matters. The first few months of a relationship really matter. You learn a lot.

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    Jillian also points out that while yoga and self-awareness practices can build self-esteem, they don't necessarily teach communication skills, which are essential for relationship success 4.

       

    Emotional Behaviors

    Emotional behaviors like stress and anxiety significantly impact relationships. describes the "dance of fear," where partners unconsciously manipulate each other due to their insecurities 5. This toxic cycle can lead to misunderstandings and emotional turmoil. shares insights on how men often feel responsible for their partner's happiness, which can create additional stress.

    We are so much more attractive when we are connected to our joy. Almost always, two people struggling in a relationship are struggling individually to find joy within themselves.

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    Jillian emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and finding joy within oneself to improve relational dynamics 6.

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