#008: The Myths of Masculinity and Addiction with Ben Goresky

Early Addiction

Ben Goresky shares his early experiences with addiction, starting at the age of 13 and entering rehab by 15. He describes the intense daily use of marijuana and alcohol, and the pivotal moment when his family intervened, leading him to a treatment center in Alberta 1. Initially resistant to sobriety, Ben eventually recognized the shared pain among addicts and began his journey to recovery 2.

When I realized that my pain was the same as everyone else's pain and that I was definitely on the same trajectory everyone else was on, I was able to project forward and just sort of see my addiction for what it really was.

--- Ben Goresky

   

Rock Bottom

Mark Groves and Ben discuss the concept of hitting rock bottom, emphasizing that it doesn't always involve extreme circumstances like homelessness. Ben explains that rock bottom is an internal realization of having had enough of one's current way of living 3. He also highlights the importance of quitting the addictive behavior entirely, rather than attempting to moderate it, as a crucial step in confronting addiction 4.

You have to quit, at least for a solid chunk of time. In order to quit, you have to have had enough of where you're at. You have to have enough pain.

--- Ben Goresky

   

Psychological Aspects

Ben and Mark explore the psychological aspects of addiction, noting that it's not the substance but the underlying pain and disconnection from oneself that fuels addictive behaviors. Ben mentions that addiction is often a way to escape from emotional pain, and that reconnecting with oneself is essential for recovery 5. They also discuss how men and women might experience and express addiction differently, with men often choosing more outwardly destructive behaviors 6.

At the core, what addiction really is, it's a disconnection from yourself. And so when you can reconnect to your pain in a natural way, that's where you can find recovery.

--- Ben Goresky