#202: How to Change Your Patterns in Love with Vienna Pharaon

Authenticity

Vienna Pharaon discusses the significance of being true to oneself in relationships. She highlights the dangers of trying to mold oneself to fit someone else's expectations, which can lead to a loss of authenticity and personal identity 1. Vienna also touches on the tendency to choose partners who are controlling or jealous, driven by a subconscious desire to fix or change them 2.

Stop trying to live into someone else's life. If I just had what this other person had, then they would have chosen me. Maybe. But then you might be with trying.

--- Vienna Pharaon

She encourages individuals to embrace their true selves and recognize their own worth.

   

Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a cornerstone of building deeper intimacy and trust in relationships. Vienna Pharaon explains that open communication about boundaries and comfort levels with partners can prevent misunderstandings and foster a more integrated and fulfilling relationship 3. She also addresses the impact of past relationship traumas and the importance of discussing these experiences to avoid living a restricted life 4.

We need to be able to have these conversations so that we're not living a small life.

--- Vienna Pharaon

By being vulnerable, individuals can create a robust and trusting relational space.

   

Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance plays a crucial role in personal growth and the health of relationships. Vienna Pharaon discusses how feelings of being unlovable can lead to patterns of choosing emotionally unavailable partners 5. She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and investing in oneself to break these patterns and rediscover hope 6.

How do you warm that a bit? How do you bring just a bit of gentleness there where you're like, maybe you say something like, I'm really tired of this pattern and I don't want to keep doing this.

--- Vienna Pharaon

By fostering self-acceptance, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships.