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Published Apr 11, 2022

#202: How to Change Your Patterns in Love with Vienna Pharaon

Mark Groves and Vienna Pharaon explore how to change destructive relational patterns, emphasizing the role of authenticity, vulnerability, and healing childhood wounds to build healthier and more intimate connections.
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  • Family Systems

    Family systems profoundly influence our relational patterns and behaviors. explains that the imprints from our family dynamics shape how we interact with partners, often leading to power and control issues 1. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these imprints to navigate relationships better. For example, navigating opposite-sex friendships while honoring a relationship requires recognizing and addressing past trust issues 2.

    The relationship between my partner and I is sacred. What do we do to protect the sacredness of that and not leak sexual energy?

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    Understanding these dynamics helps in creating healthier boundaries and relationships.

       

    Parental Influence

    Parental behaviors and attitudes significantly impact children's future romantic engagements. discusses how childhood wounds, such as feeling hard to love or having to care for an alcoholic parent, shape adult relationships 3. She highlights the importance of taking responsibility for these beliefs and messages to heal and grow. shares his experience of learning to separate his emotions from his mother's, which improved their relationship 4.

    You can't stop trying to get someone to understand who's committed to not understanding you.

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    This understanding fosters healthier interactions and self-awareness.

       

    Healing

    Healing childhood wounds and reconciling past traumas are crucial for healthier adult relationships. explains that origin wounds often carry into adult relationships, leading to feelings of inadequacy and personalization of breakups 5. She stresses the importance of self-compassion and gentle self-inquiry to rebuild hope and self-trust. adds that investing in self-awareness and understanding one's origins can reignite hope and foster personal growth 6.

    How do you warm that a bit? How do you bring just a bit of gentleness there?

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    This process helps in creating a stable and loving relationship with oneself and others.

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