#449: Why Avoidant partners NEED you to LEAVE them

Need for Space

Avoidant individuals often require space to foster personal and relational growth. Mark Groves explains that avoidant partners need you to actually leave them, as it creates a necessary space for both parties to grow. He shares a personal realization from his own relationship, noting that anxiously attached individuals often fill all available space, preventing avoidant partners from moving closer 1.

Anxiously attached people are afraid of space. Avoidantly attached people are afraid of closeness.

--- Mark Groves

This dynamic highlights the importance of understanding and respecting each other's needs for space and closeness.

   

Anxious Challenges

Anxiously attached individuals face significant challenges when dealing with avoidant partners. Mark emphasizes the need for anxious individuals to learn to stand still and manage their anxiety without over-communicating or pursuing their partners 2. He suggests techniques like meditation and cold showers to help regulate emotions and increase personal capacity 3.

The true healing is just both of them standing still and turning towards one another.

--- Mark Groves

By setting boundaries and learning to self-regulate, anxious individuals can foster healthier relationships and personal growth.