#449: Why Avoidant partners NEED you to LEAVE them

Managing Anxiety

Managing anxiety within relationships, especially for those with anxious attachment styles, requires learning to stand still and regulate emotions. Mark Groves emphasizes the importance of techniques like cold showers and meditation to help individuals manage their anxiety and grow emotionally. He explains that these practices help build the capacity to monitor emotions and maintain a sense of safety, even when the body signals distress 1.

You're going to have to learn skill sets to help you regulate things like cold showers, increase your capacity. They're not just cool, bro, awesome viral things, they actually work because your body, body's going, I'm going to die. And you're not going to die. You're actually completely safe in that water almost all the time.

--- Mark Groves

By learning to stand still and communicate needs effectively, individuals can create a more balanced and sacred space in their relationships 1.

   

Breaking Patterns

Breaking free from repetitive, unhealthy relationship patterns is crucial for personal growth. Mark Groves discusses the exhausting cycle of chasing and running away in relationships, which often leads to anxiety and depression 2. He explains that these patterns often stem from childhood experiences with unreliable caregivers, leading to a belief in one's unworthiness of consistency.

I'm taking a stand. I'm no longer going to collude with you in playing small in our relationship dynamics. I'm not going to collude with the small part of you that is afraid of closeness.

--- Mark Groves

To break these patterns, one must take a stand and refuse to engage in behaviors that compromise personal needs and values, thereby fostering healthier relationship dynamics 2.