Creating The Love You Desire w/ Mark Groves

Codependency

Mark Groves explains codependency as sourcing one's safety and needs at the cost of self, often leading to an abandonment of self to maintain connection. He shares his personal journey with his wife, highlighting how they navigated and healed these patterns together. Emily Morse adds that people often become whoever they need to be to maintain connection, which can lead to complacency.

You're sourcing your safety, security, your needs, at the cost of yourself. So there's an abandonment of self in order to maintain connection.

--- Mark Groves

Mark also discusses how childhood experiences shape our relationship blueprints, influencing how we interact with partners as adults 1 2.

   

Patterns

Identifying codependent behaviors is crucial for breaking free from toxic patterns. Mark Groves notes that repeated relational outcomes, such as attracting unavailable partners or feeling resentment, are signs of deeper issues. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing when one is out of alignment with their values, as this can block intimacy and trust.

Repeated outcomes in relationship fighting with your partner about the same things over and over again, feeling like you're at an upper limit in your relationship.

--- Mark Groves

Emily Morse adds that toxic relationships and affairs are often ways people numb themselves, avoiding deeper emotional work 3 4.

   

Experiences

Mark Groves shares his personal journey of overcoming codependency, including a pivotal moment during a Thanksgiving dinner that led to a profound realization about love and betrayal. He describes how setting boundaries and choosing himself allowed him to break free from toxic patterns and foster a healthier relationship.

I finally chose me. In the wound I was living out, I finally chose myself.

--- Mark Groves

Mark and his wife even conducted a closing ceremony for their relationship, symbolizing their commitment to truth and personal growth 5 6.