#393: Codependency: Stop Compromising Yourself

Core Definition

Codependency is defined as a relational dynamic where individuals seek safety from external sources at the expense of their own needs and well-being. Kylie McBeath emphasizes the importance of recognizing when one's needs are met at the expense of self, which is a key indicator of codependency 1. Mark Groves adds that the opposite of codependency is not extreme individualism but finding a balance between self and relationship needs 1.

How do I hold on to who I am and be in a relationship? How do I manage my needs and also create space for someone else's needs? That's such a dance.

--- Mark Groves

Kylie shares her personal journey of overcoming codependency by building internal financial security and reasserting her voice in relationships 1.

   

Relational Dynamics

The dynamics within relationships often foster codependency through unconscious fears and ingrained identities. Mark explains that fear of destabilizing the relationship can prevent individuals from speaking up, even when their needs are unmet 2. Kylie discusses the challenge of breaking free from the 'damsel in distress' identity, which perpetuates dependency on others for support 2.

The majority of us actually compromise ourselves in order to keep people close.

--- Mark Groves

Mark also highlights that codependency is not limited to relationships with addicts but is a common pattern where individuals compromise their own needs to maintain closeness 3.