#442: Rewiring Relationship Patterns: Mike Elliott on Overcoming Trauma

Original Wounds

Mike Elliott shares his personal journey of adoption and the profound impact of early separations from caregivers. He describes how these experiences led to a sense of emotional numbness and codependency in his adult relationships. Mark Groves highlights the importance of acknowledging these original wounds to foster healing and self-awareness.

It's interesting. I was talking to a mentor who...said, if we can just be with that. You have to say primary caregiver, then we can be with the grief that it's not mom and dad.

--- Mark Groves

This exploration of early trauma serves as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation 1 2.

   

Eroticizing Wounds

The discussion turns to how unmet childhood needs manifest in adult behaviors, such as pornography or superficial connections. Mike Elliott explains that these behaviors often stem from a deep-seated desire for connection, rooted in early developmental ruptures. Mark Groves notes that understanding these patterns can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.

It's like we've eroticized our wound.

--- Mark Groves

This insight into the eroticization of wounds offers a pathway to addressing and healing these deep-seated issues 3 4.

   

Relationship Dynamics

The conversation shifts to the conscious awareness required to recognize and re-pattern relationship behaviors stemming from childhood. Mike Elliott reflects on the importance of attuning to one's feelings and the signals from partners to foster healthier dynamics. Mark Groves emphasizes the liberation found in understanding these patterns and choosing partners who encourage growth.

That's so powerful to look in hindsight and be able to tell the story of the reality of it.

--- Mark Groves

This awareness is crucial for transforming relationships and achieving personal alignment 5 6.