#160: What Femininity Wants with John Wineland

Collective Grief

John Wineland discusses the profound collective grief that men experience due to societal expectations and evolving roles. He highlights how the rise of feminine empowerment has left many men questioning their roles, leading to confusion and grief, which often manifest in unhealthy ways like addiction 1. Mark Groves shares his personal journey with grief, emphasizing the societal pressure on men to suppress emotions, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy in relationships 2.

There's a collective grief there for men to feel. Agreed. The other one, the third one I think is super important for men to tap into is that. And we don't speak about this, is that the rise of the feminine, which was totally needed. Totally. And I'm so excited about because I think women are going to do a much better job than men have done for the last thousand, 2000, 3000 years.

--- John Wineland

Both John and Mark agree that men's groups provide a healing space for men to explore these emotions and redefine their identities.

   

Reclaiming Emotions

The journey of men reclaiming their emotional landscape involves moving from anger to deeper emotions like grief and anguish. John Wineland describes anguish as a bridge between anger and grief, encouraging men to explore this emotional terrain through meditative practices 3. Mark Groves shares his personal experience of accessing rage and the transformative power of embracing vulnerability, which he believes makes individuals more magnetic and connected 3.

When someone accesses that, that more of them is there. And I know what you're saying, because when I've looked in the eyes of another person, a man or a woman or person, and they've accessed that thing, that their eyes light up in a different way, there's, like, a sparkle.

--- Mark Groves

John further explains that processing pain can transform it into a resource, allowing individuals to integrate their experiences and find freedom 4.