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Published Jun 2, 2019

#029: The End of Women Caretaking Men with Terry Real

Join family therapist Terry Real as he explores relational empowerment, challenges traditional gender roles, and redefines masculinity, offering new therapeutic insights for transformative relationships.
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  • Relational Empowerment

    introduces the concept of relational empowerment, contrasting it with personal empowerment. He explains that while personal empowerment focuses on individual strength, relational empowerment emphasizes collaboration and mutual benefit within relationships 1. This approach aims to break the back of patriarchy by fostering a sense of teamwork and shared goals 1. Real also highlights the importance of standing up for oneself with love, a skill that cherishes both the person and the relationship 2.

    Relational empowerment is I was weak. Now I'm strong. I'm going to bring my strength into this relationship. I'm going to stand toe to toe with you. I'm going to talk to you. I talk about fierce intimacy. I'm going to be fierce about my wants and needs. Now, what can I do to help you win? Because I love you. Let's work together. We're a team.

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    This method encourages partners to work together as a team, rather than as adversaries.

       

    Fierce Intimacy

    Fierce intimacy is a crucial element of relational empowerment, allowing partners to be honest while maintaining their connection. describes fierce intimacy as a balance between being loving and firm, which he believes is the new frontier for healthy relationships 3. He shares a personal story to illustrate how standing up to someone with love can disarm them and foster deeper connection 4.

    To love me and stand up to me at the same time. I had no idea. I was speechless.

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    This approach helps partners confront difficult truths while feeling supported and understood.

       

    Challenging Patriarchy

    Relational empowerment challenges traditional gender roles and promotes equality in relationships. discusses how men and women have been constrained by patriarchal expectations, with men often repressing their needs and emotions 5. He argues that both genders suffer under these stereotypes, and breaking free from them is essential for healthier relationships 6.

    Men don't get their needs met. Let's be know. For a long time, a lot of people spoke about how women don't have voice, and recovering. Hillary found her voice, and women find their voices.

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    By embracing relational empowerment, couples can move beyond these limiting roles and create more fulfilling partnerships.

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