#213: Exploring Non-Monogamy with Emily, Dedeker and Jase of Multiamory

Meta Communication

Meta communication is a crucial skill in relationships, involving discussions about how we communicate. Mark Groves emphasizes the importance of explicitly stating what we need from our partners, whether it's support or advice 1. This approach helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures both parties are on the same page. Emily Matlack adds that emotional honesty and responsibility are key, as they allow individuals to own their feelings and communicate them effectively 1.

It's like those little things of being able to both be aware of yourself and your body and your emotions, as well as communicating about it explicitly and not just relying on them to pick up on your subtle nonverbal cues or something like that, but to be explicit.

--- Mark Groves

Rediscovering individual identities within relationships can also be transformative. Mark suggests that sometimes, couples need to pursue their own hobbies and interests to regain a sense of self, which can reignite passion and connection 2. Jase Lindgren agrees, noting that re-individuation can make partners more attractive to each other 2.

   

Courageous Conversations

Having courageous conversations is vital for relationship growth. Jase Lindgren acknowledges the bravery required to explore non-traditional relationship structures and praises the willingness to question societal norms 3. This openness fosters deeper connections and mutual understanding. Emily Matlack highlights the importance of bridging gaps between different relationship perspectives, advocating for a non-judgmental approach to learning from each other 4.

Part of the reason the culture has changed is because of you. Part of the reason the conversation has changed is because of you.

--- Jase Lindgren

This inclusive mindset encourages individuals to step outside their comfort zones and engage in meaningful dialogues about their relationship choices and identities.

   

Effective Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Dedeker Winston discusses the importance of using tools and strategies to enhance communication, which they have compiled into a forthcoming book 5. These tools are designed to help couples navigate complex emotions and maintain open lines of communication. Emily stresses the need for curiosity and inquiry in relationships, encouraging partners to explore each other's motivations, fears, and desires 6.

Ultimately, I think, like you were talking about the going slow with this process, not just with the process of opening up, if that's what you choose to do, but also with the process of inquiry and bringing your partner into that inquiry as well.

--- Emily Matlack

This approach helps prevent misunderstandings and fosters a deeper connection by ensuring both partners feel heard and understood.