#258: Men’s Work: Facing Your Darkness and Finding Freedom with Connor Beaton

Origins

Connor Beaton explains that toxic masculinity has evolutionary roots, where violence once served a functional purpose. He emphasizes the need to differentiate between aggression and assertiveness, and how societal narratives often conflate the two 1. This misinterpretation can lead to a mistrust of men, which Beaton believes is counterproductive. He also discusses the polarizing nature of certain male figures and how this reflects broader societal divisions 2.

We thrive when we feel needed, and we thrive when we feel called into something.

--- Connor Beaton

   

Stereotypes

Mark Groves and Connor discuss how it's become socially acceptable to demonize men and masculinity, often labeling them as the problem. They argue that this approach overlooks the underlying issues and symptoms of societal dysfunction 3. Groves points out that blaming hormones like testosterone for destructive behaviors is misguided and fails to address the root causes.

It's not testosterone's fault; it's the unintegrated trauma that's the issue.

--- Mark Groves

   

Healing

Healing toxic masculinity involves facing and reconciling with one's pain and suffering. Connor Beaton stresses the importance of this process for both men and women, as unhealed wounds in one often reflect in the other 4. He also discusses the impact of pornography on relationships, highlighting how it can serve as a barrier to genuine sexual expression and intimacy 5.

Start with your pain. In the process of doing that, you will show yourself that you are capable of doing the hard thing.

--- Connor Beaton