#225: A New Definition of Masculinity with John Wineland

Presence Practices

John Wineland emphasizes the importance of presence in relationships, describing it as a powerful currency that can calm the nervous system of loved ones. He explains that traditional masculine traits like strength and determination are still valuable but should be complemented by the ability to be fully present. This presence, he argues, can lead to a new paradigm of liberation in relationships 1.

The capacity to be present in the moment and be fully with somebody is an incredibly powerful currency.

--- John Wineland

John also discusses the concept of depth, suggesting that men can practice simple techniques to feel and be felt more deeply. This involves shifting awareness from thought patterns to the core of one's body, which can transform relational dynamics 2.

   

Internal Blocks

John explores the concept of internal patriarchy, which he defines as the desire to control the feminine. He believes that overcoming this internalized need for control is crucial for true relational liberation 3.

The part of us that needs to fix that or needs her to not be mad so that we feel safe, so that we feel some of it's childhood wounding.

--- John Wineland

He also addresses the resistance men often feel towards emotional depth, attributing it to ingrained patterns and wounds. John argues that men are hungry for depth but lack the tools to achieve it, emphasizing the importance of practices that help them connect with their core emotions 4.

   

Strong Connections

John highlights the role of awareness in building strong connections, noting that a lack of awareness often underlies relational issues. He describes how partners can serve as oracles, signaling when one is not fully present or aware 5.

She's your oracle. She's telling you when you're off underneath. She's probably sensing something that almost always is about your lack of awareness or your lack of feeling.

--- John Wineland

He also discusses the challenges and opportunities that arise when one partner deepens their emotional awareness. This can either inspire the other partner or create tension, depending on their willingness to grow together 6.