#199: Codependency: the Disease to Please with Terri Cole

Codependency

Codependency is often misunderstood, as Terri Cole explains, it's not just about being involved with an addict. It's about being overly invested in the feelings and outcomes of others, which can occur in any relationship 1. Mark Groves adds that many people don't realize they exhibit codependent behaviors, often focusing on fixing others rather than themselves 2. Terri emphasizes that codependency is about being overly focused on others' needs, leading to a lack of self-focus and self-love 1.

   

High Functioning

High functioning codependents often appear successful but struggle with authenticity and self-neglect. Terri describes how these individuals manage to run the world while ignoring their own needs, leading to a lack of genuine connection 3. She highlights the illusion of control they maintain, which is ultimately unsustainable 3. Terri outlines behaviors such as feeling responsible for others' problems and fearing rejection, which are common among high functioning codependents 4.

   

Relationships

In relationships, codependency manifests as a covert bid for control, often rooted in fear and past experiences. Terri explains that this behavior can lead to manipulation, even if unintentional, as individuals try to manage others' emotions 5. Mark discusses how this dynamic creates barriers to authentic connection, as people hide their true selves out of fear of rejection 6. Terri emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and breaking these patterns to foster genuine relationships 6.