Mark Groves avatar

Dexa/Mark Groves

Learn more
Published Dec 16, 2019

#063: Bringing Cheating Out of the Shadows with Connor Beaton

Connor Beaton discusses radical personal transformation, the impact of family dynamics, healing through relationships, and the integration of the shadow self, offering practical insights for embracing authenticity and growth.
Episode Highlights
The Mark Groves Podcast logo

Topics covered

Popular Clips

Questions from this episode

Episode Highlights

  • Shadow Defined

    explains the concept of the shadow self, which represents the parts of ourselves we disown, avoid, or neglect. He likens the shadow to the unconscious mind, hidden beneath the surface like the submerged part of an iceberg. Connor uses the metaphor of a roundtable, where the shadow side contains our inner critic, anxiety, and other suppressed emotions 1. Ignoring these aspects allows them to grow stronger and more disruptive, much like a mischievous child seeking attention 2.

    If we don't pay attention to and try to understand the inner critic, it's going to get to the point where it's almost debilitating for us because it's so loud and detrimental and just cutting us down on a regular basis.

    ---

       

    Embracing Shadow

    Connor emphasizes the importance of embracing the shadow self rather than rejecting it. He explains that avoiding emotions like anxiety and shame only makes them stronger. By turning towards these emotions and understanding their origins, we can begin to integrate them into our conscious self 3. Connor shares that recognizing his inner critic's voice as his stepdad's was a pivotal moment in his shadow work 3.

    The shadow can also be the parts of us that we see as potential. A lot of our natural and innate potential can get locked up in the shadow and tangled up with the shitstorm.

    ---

       

    Tools & Practices

    Connor offers practical tools for acknowledging and integrating the shadow self, such as mindfulness, meditation, and breath work. He suggests asking close friends for honest feedback about one's reactivity to uncover hidden insecurities 4. Cultivating self-reflection and awareness is crucial, as the shadow resists being seen. Connor explains that understanding our emotional and intellectual reactivity helps us address the underlying issues 5.

    The first rule of shadow work is knowing that your shadow does not want to be seen. You have to know that there's a resistance.

    ---

Related Episodes