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Published Jan 10, 2020

#067: Codependency, The Disease To Please with Terri Cole

Terri Cole joins Mark Groves to delve into the complexities of codependency, emphasizing the necessity of setting healthy boundaries, cultivating authentic relationships, and fostering personal growth through self-awareness and behavior modification. The episode offers insights into 'High Functioning Codependency,' highlighting its signs, impacts, and the critical role of communication in overcoming it.
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  • Self-Awareness

    emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in overcoming codependency. She explains how fear fantasies often prevent individuals from setting boundaries, leading to resentment and bitterness. adds that understanding one's own needs and communicating them truthfully is crucial for healthy relationships 1.

    We have these catastrophic fear fantasies that are not our adult self because we know how life is. You're out there negotiating the world. So when you have this exaggerated amplified, like, oh, my God, someone's going to burst into flames. Like, they're not going to.

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    Terri also shares resources like her Real Love Revolution Group and YouTube channel to help individuals develop self-awareness and relational skills 2.

       

    Introspection Techniques

    Terri discusses various introspection techniques to understand and address codependent behaviors. She highlights the power of intention and guided meditation as tools for personal transformation. Mark underscores the importance of recognizing cognitive dissonance and the gap between perceived independence and actual codependent actions 3.

    If I told you in ten days, you could transform something that's been creating pain for you for a lifetime, would you do it?

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    Terri stresses that fulfillment comes from within and that self-awareness is key to breaking free from codependent patterns 4.

       

    Behavioral Patterns

    Identifying and modifying self-sabotaging behaviors is crucial for overcoming codependency. Terri explains that codependency often involves self-abandonment and the creation of unhealthy relational patterns. Mark points out that societal norms and evolutionary behaviors contribute to these patterns, making it challenging to break free 5.

    We're rewarded for being self-sacrificing, self-abandoning. People are like, oh, she's so giving. She's so nice. And you're like, she's so not herself.

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    Terri and Mark agree that understanding one's motivations and making conscious choices are essential steps in transforming these behaviors 6 7.

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