#020: Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries. with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

With Exes

Navigating boundaries with ex-partners can be particularly challenging, especially when unresolved emotions linger. Mark Groves and Dr. Alexandra Solomon discuss the importance of setting clear boundaries to facilitate healing. They emphasize that maintaining contact with an ex can often be a form of rationalization to avoid the grief associated with a breakup. Dr. Solomon notes that grief is a painful physiological process, akin to physical pain, and avoiding it can hinder emotional recovery 1.

It's about digital hygiene. Just going to clean up the space.

--- Mark Groves

Groves adds that digital connections, like social media, can complicate the process, making it essential to prioritize one's emotional well-being by "cleaning up the space" 2.

   

Emotional Challenges

Setting boundaries often involves confronting deep-seated emotional challenges. Dr. Solomon explains that anger can signal a boundary violation, though many struggle to recognize it until it's too late 3. She describes the physiological cues, like a twist in the gut, that indicate when one's boundaries are being encroached upon.

It's unfair to ask you to undo damage that was done by other men who weren't you.

--- Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Groves shares his experience of being overwhelmed by emotions due to porous boundaries, highlighting the chaos that can ensue when emotions are not properly managed 4.