#117: The Function of Emotions with Dr. Susan David

Aligning Values

Understanding and aligning with personal values is crucial for making better decisions and living a fulfilling life. Susan David emphasizes the importance of recognizing our values, which are often overshadowed by societal expectations and personal fears 1. She suggests that emotions can serve as signposts to our values, guiding us towards what truly matters. Mark Groves adds that embracing our values allows us to show up authentically in relationships and work, fostering a sense of purpose and belonging 2.

   

Values vs. Goals

There's often confusion between values and goals, leading to perceived conflicts in our lives. Susan clarifies that values themselves are not in conflict; rather, it's our goals that may clash 3. She explains that prioritizing and phasing different aspects of life can help manage these conflicts without abandoning our core values. Mark highlights the delicate balance between compromise and self-abandonment, noting that true intimacy and trust come from aligning actions with values 4.

   

Shifting Goals

Shifting goals based on values and emotional insights can lead to more fulfilling outcomes. Susan discusses the difference between 'have to' goals, which often lead to resentment, and 'want to' goals that align with our values 5. She stresses that emotions are data, not directives, and that acting from a place of wisdom involves prioritizing values over fleeting emotions. This approach allows individuals to access their wisest selves and create meaningful change in their lives.