#130: Healing Our Nervous System with Nicole Lohse

Co-regulation

Co-regulation plays a crucial role in relationships, acting as a grounding force when one partner is dysregulated. Mark Groves and Nicole Lohse discuss how being with someone who has a regulated nervous system can help the other person feel safe and secure 1. Nicole emphasizes the importance of interaction with others, stating, "If we are with people who have more regulation on board, they know what it means to be safe" 1. This dynamic allows individuals to experiment with new ways of feeling secure and connected, even when their own nervous systems are in turmoil.

   

Relationship Patterns

Understanding survival patterns in relationships is key to personal growth. Nicole explains that recognizing these patterns helps individuals identify when they step out of their truth and into survival mode 2. She notes, "The more we can start to recognize our patterns and how they show up in relationship, the more we can find the edges of that" 3. By becoming aware of these patterns, people can begin to soften their defensive responses and embrace healthier interactions.

   

Attachment Styles

Attachment styles, particularly avoidance, significantly impact relationship dynamics. Mark and Nicole explore how avoidance can prevent individuals from experiencing co-regulation, often leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance 4. Nicole highlights the importance of exploring uncomfortable feelings, suggesting, "What happens if I stay for just a second longer? Can I get more information about my experience in this?" 4. This exploration can lead to new insights and a greater capacity for connection.